Choosing a better life
16, 12, 10, 9, 4, 2 and 1 – These are not numbers in a Lotto ticket, but the ages of the children of 38-year-old Emalyn Paulino. While it is a joy to have a big family, for someone less fortunate like this mother of seven, life has certainly not been easy.
At four in the morning, while everyone else is in deep slumber, Paulino is already up and about, busy preparing for the long day ahead.
She starts preparing food for her eldest daughter so that when she leaves for school in the morning, everything is already in order. Before noon, she cooks lunch and attends to her other children who are going to school in the afternoon. Throughout the rest of the day, she tries to budget the meager but hard-earned pay given by her husband for their family’s daily needs. But oftentimes, when her husband who works as a maintenance officer, couldn’t give anything, they had to make do with whatever they have or sleep on their empty stomachs.
IN A DIRE SITUATION
Paulino gave birth to her first child at the age of 23, and then this was followed by another and another until she could no longer control the number of her children. She admitted on being initially skeptical about using any family planning method because she thought it was harmful to her health.
But their family further got themselves buried in poverty when more children were born. Without anyone to help her look after her children, Paulino had no choice but to stay at home to take care of them. She had to be strong for her family, even when they don’t have a single peso in their pocket.
“Sobrang hirap. Maliit lang bahay namin, parang kwarto lang. Siyam kaming nakatira. Hindi na kami kasya kasi lumalaki na yung mga anak ko. May sira pa ang bahay namin. Tumutulo kapag umuulan (It’s very hard. Our house is very small. It’s just a room with nine people living in it. We can’t fit anymore because our children are growing up. And when it rains, the water seeps inside the house),” lamented Paulino, a resident of Smokey Mountain in Tondo, Manila.
It was during her seventh pregnancy when she encountered complications that Paulino finally realized the need for family planning. At that time, she suffered from stomach aches and lost a lot of weight. Because she was pregnant, she couldn’t take any medication and just had to endure the pain.
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE
The Safe Motherhood Caravan of Intellicare and Philippine Business for Social Progress (PBSP) opened Paulino’s eyes to myths of pregnancy and the best practices of safe motherhood, including family planning. The caravan aims to impart life-saving information to as many women of reproductive age as possible, and help reduce the number of maternal and infant mortality in the country.
During the caravan, Paulino learned so much about pre- and post-natal care, child-rearing, and family planning, including proper birth spacing to enable a mother to fully regain her health after pregnancy.
“Napakaimportante nitong caravan. Naturuan kami kung paano magiging magulang, paano maging nanay, pano magiging responsable sa anak, sa pamilya mo. Kung pano mapalaki mo sila (mga anak) ng maayos at mabigyan sila ng edukasyon. (This caravan is very important. We were taught on how to become responsible parents, how to be a mother, how to nurture your children, your family, and on how to raise your children properly and give them good education.),” she said.
Once filled with doubts, Paulino now encourages other people, especially young mothers in their community to try family planning. And for those mothers who have a lot of children, she hopes that they would not give up on taking care of them. Even when they don’t have money and the situation gets hard, Paulino believes that every mother should always find a way to be there for their kids.